Marriage

The marriage request (Aw Kay) A marriage request is made in the following manner: When everyone knows that a man and a woman like each other equally, the parents, relatives, and friends of the woman will go with her to see the man at his house. This is to check and make sure that the man really does love the woman and desires to unite with her in marriage. If the man does indeed love the woman, and is determined to marry, then a date and time will be set for the two to be wed (According to Karen custom and tradition it is the female that has to go to the man's house to request his hand in marriage). The engagement (Dteur Lo) Once the man has agreed that he is determined to marry the woman and a date has been set for the wedding, then an elder from the man's side of the family will be sent to the woman's house to perform the engagement ceremony. The woman will kill two chickens and hold a feast to receive the elder from the groom's side of the family. The next morning a date will be set for when the groom and his friends will come to see the bride and marry.

The offering of the " first pig" (Taw Dtaw) "Taw Dtaw," is the first pig to be killed during the wedding ceremony. It will be given as an offering to the spirits in a ceremony requesting the spirits to bless the groom, the bride, and all attendants at the wedding. When the time comes for the groom to journey to the bride's village, the elders and friends of the groom will all gather together in the bride's village to wait for their arrival. They will lay down mats to sit on, and will exchange thoughts and opinions on the event. After they are settled in the elders will perform a short ceremony to ask the spirits for a blessing, sprinkling alcohol on the ground to commemorate the occasion. Next, the groom and his friends and relatives will walk in parade to the bride's house, where the bride's neighbors and friends will receive and welcome the guests. They will set up a temporary resting place in front of the bride's house and invite the guests to sit down. A ceremonial bottle of alcohol will be opened and offered to all around. Once the bottle has made its way around, the guests will be invited into the bride's house to rest and relax. Alcohol will continue to be passed around and the partygoers will break into singing. Lyrics are invented on the spot and will be full of innuendo and subtle humor. This is a chance for the guests from out of town (the groom and his relatives) and the locals (the bride and her friends) to exchange witty banter and get to know each other better. While everyone is singing and enjoying themselves, some of the bride's relatives and friends will kill a pig for a feast to welcome all the guests and attendants at the wedding. After the feast everyone is free to do as they wish. Some will go to sleep, while others will walk around the village from house to house visiting friends and old acquaintences. Often, parties of people will go off caroling from house to house, exchanging witty lyrical banter all night long.

A chicken to ask for a blessing on the journey home (Chaw Jo Law) After the wedding, the bride's side of the family will kill, boil, and wrap up 2 chickens to give to the elders and guests on the groom's side of the family for them to take back with them and eat during their journey home. On the way back home, the procession will stop and the elders will perform a ceremony offering the food to the spirits. They will ask the spirits for a blessing and safe travel on the journey home. After completing the ceremony everyone will be expected to help eat all the chicken and rice before setting off again. Upon returning to the groom's village everyone will gather in front of the groom's house for one final bottle of ceremonial alcohol, led by the elders. The next day everyone in the village will stay home and not go out to work to commemorate the occasion. It's actually prohibited to work the day after a wedding!

Chaw Jo Law

This prohibition is called "Deu Taw Ko Bel"
After a new husband and wife have lived with each other for three days and three nights, the parents of the couple will perform a ceremony to bind the spirits of the two together. This ceremony is known as "gee keu jeu." Strings will be tied around the wrists of the two symbolizing the union of the two individuals into one, forever on. 

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